Welcome back, Bargain Hunters! Stock up. Lock down. And brace yourself for the sale of a lifetime.

With the shadow of the Flayed Monarch looming ever closer, Dan must prepare the store and himself for the battle to come. To stand a chance, he’ll need to expand his operations, broker a precarious trade deal with the Delvers of Howlers Hold, and transform his stash of relics into an arsenal of magical war crimes.

But first, he’ll need to carve a bloody path through the heart of the 24th floor—Eternal Suburbia. A hellish, never-ending labyrinth of tidy lawns, cookie-cutter houses, and homicidal homeowners. Few survive the lawnmower men, the feral Karens, the ever-ravenous Kannibal Kids, or the tyrannical HOA, which reigns supreme with an iron fist of petty rules and bloodstained bylaws. With a gaggle of increasingly untrustworthy allies, and dangers lurking behind every perfectly trimmed hedge, Dan will need to do the impossible if he wants to beat the system and live to fight another day.

Need some convincing, here’s what readers are saying!

“The Cousin of Dungeon Crawler Carl – similar premise, a man out of his world and into a fresh hell of levels, monster and magic with a adorable inhuman sidekick.” — 5 Stars

“Everything imaginable is here: evil gods, toilet-headed monsters, mimics, sportsman goblins, literal shit golems, a town of furries, balloon-shaped bombs, evil suburbs, creative swears aplenty, laundry gnomes, building kaijus. I’m just getting started here. TL;DR: Read it ASAP. You won’t regret it.” — 5 Stars

“I don’t know what just happened man, I thought this was just going to be a dumb backrooms thing. There were 773 pages. That was 2 days ago, now there’s nothing left and I’m sad.” — 5 Stars

“Its crazy, disturbing, horrific, and honestly just super messed up. Its also one of the best stories I have ever read.” — 5 Stars